Personal Care and other musings

I grew up in the American Midwest.  In Iowa farming country, people went out of their way to appear "average middle class" even when they had a lot of money.  Things like facials and massages and pedicures were not things in my realm of experience.  About two years ago, I got so fat I couldn't bend over to cut my own toe nails, so I got my first pedicure.  It was a very pleasant experience, and even after I lost weight, and could bend over easily, I continued to get a pedicure about every three weeks.  I never understood why women would wait for a particular hair stylist, but when Kim, the lady who usually did my toe nails was not there one day, I found out.  Some people are just better at some things than other people.

Grace likes massages and facials and manicures and pedicures and body scrubs and anything else of that category.  She is very careful with money in most areas, but cosmetics and personal care services make up a big part of her budget.  When we were in Baguio, I noticed that my teeth needed cleaning, and the spa where Grace was getting a facial had a dentist, so I got my teeth cleaned.  A free facial went with the cleaning, so I got my first facial.  I have to say that there are a lot worse ways to spend some relaxation time.  Grace was in the next chair, and we held hands while we got our facials.  I'm old enough that I don't give a damn about what people think of me, so call me a "girlie man" if you will, but I think seeing what your wife or girl friend goes through to be beautiful for her guy is a worthwhile thing to do.  I have big pores on my nose, and I liked the way I looked after the facial, when my whole face was squeaky clean.

It is sometimes difficult when your girlfriend loves you so much that she imagines you are mad at her if you don't have a big smile on your face 24 x 7.  This is a problem for grumpy old men who have aches and pains that tend to creep up when out shopping.  I guess the solution is to stop being a grumpy old man.  So I suppose this is a cautionary tale of the "be careful what you wish for because you just might get it" variety.  My girlfriend is 26, and I'm 62.  I've always liked younger women because besides their obvious charms, they usually have less emotional baggage and are able to believe in true love like this hopeless romantic.  The up side is that my experience has made me a better person than when I was 26, and I know how to do a lot of things better than I did when I was 26.  This is a real advantage because skill does make a difference.  Of course the down side is that I have to make sure I'm not punishing her for something someone else did to me years ago, and that I can't just become a curmudgeon.  I have to try to have optimism and a positive outlook to stay in sync with her youthful hopefulness.

I guess the moral of this story is that if you are a mature American guy, dreaming of having a hot, young Asian girl friend, you better be prepared to have a younger outlook on life.  Remember that just because she doesn't have your education or experience doesn't mean she won't have opinions, likes, dislikes, or will instantly adopt all your beliefs.  She is a real person, not a doll, and you need to remember that if you plan to live in her country, she is the expert and you are like a new born babe.  You don't know JACK about how things are done, even (especially) if you are an international business man.  Things are so different from the US that you need to be led around by the hand to keep out of trouble.  Also, your image of what the perfect girl is like won't match up with many real women.  You need to be able to be open minded, because the best girl for you may not look exactly like you imagined, and the girl who looks exactly the way you imagined may be toxic for you.  If you have been talking to a girl online, you need to remember that no matter how long you have been talking, you DON'T know her.  You have a mental image, and a lot of it is filled in from your imagination and wishful thinking, so you don't know the real person.  Don't expect everything to be perfect immediately.  No matter how good her English, there are cultural differences and idioms that get in the way of communication.  It will take a while to work out the kinks.
If you are a good person, and treat her like a real person, these things can be worked out, with a little time and effort.  Don't be fooled by ads that tell you all Asian women are submissive and treat their man like a king.  They are real people with just as much variation as you found among American women.  Be honest. Don't try to bullshit her or brag about how much money or power you have.  The good ones don't care that much as long as you can pay the rent and buy groceries, and the ones who care about that stuff will usually try to take advantage of you or get as much from you as possible.