Randomness

I am always amazed at the total lack of discipline in people here both as drivers and as pedestrians. I am constantly reminded of the wonder on the paleontologist's face when the herds of dinosaurs in the movie, "Jurassic Park" wheeled and swirled like flocks of birds. This is exactly how people here move. I don't think anyone is even capable of walking in a straight line. The stop for no reason, move in different directions without looking, don't ever seem to look where they are going, and walk straight at you and expect you to get out of their way. They are totally oblivious to what the packages they are carrying are doing. On the MRT the other day, a lady was fanning herself with a fan woven from palm fronds and on a fairly stout stick handle. Every other swish, it was whack on my left shoulder, pause, whack, pause, whack. I squeezed Grace's hand a little harder than I intended, and tried to remain serene. When driving, people who own their cars seem almost sane, but the traffic mix is insane here. There are pedal powered bikes with metal side cars welded to them, pedal powered cabs, push carts, motor powered tricycles, totally under powere scooters, taxis, jeepneys and all sizes of buses trying to use streets that are too narrow for the traffic volume, all at the same time.  The tricycles, both human and motor powered, pull out in front of anything, always seemingly without looking, and the vehicle that should have the right of way has to slam on the brakes. Speaking of "right of way,' it seems to be law of the jungle, and who ever cares least about getting hit and is most aggressive TAKES the right of way. This is the ONLY place I've ever been, where people drive on the right side of the road, where people turning left think THEY have the right of way. This total lack of self discipline is to blame for a lot of the traffic chaos here. Taxis and tricycles and buses win NOT pick a lane and stay in it. They are constantly trying to jockey for a few feet advantage. I've said before that people here are only really happy if they are driving in two lanes simultaneously, and it is totally true! This applies to walking too. It seems that some people feel their mission in life is to get in front of the person ahead of them. If they are fast walkers I don't mind that, but when the get in front of me, 90% of the time they slow down to a crawl. It is impossible for us to walk together holding hands, most of the time, because people walk straight toward our hands and expect us to clear the way for them. The streets are so wide some places that it is impossible to cross them. There are lots of pedestrian bridges, but it is very difficult to use them because the steps climb at a very steep angle, and because of all the pushing and shoving from other people. Most of the time, the steps and walk ways are steel, and when it rains, they are VERY slick.  The other day, I bought a small slow cooker. By the way, I'm cooking beef stew and it is almost ready. It smells very good. When I was bringing it home, the MRT security guard decided I must be a terrorist, smuggling a bomb in my Rustan's shopping bag, with my Rustan's receipt on top of the slow cooker box, so I had to not only take the box out of the bag, but take the slow cooker AND every bit of packing out of the box so he could visually inspect and make sure I hadn't hidden some C4 in the bottom. Grace doesn't like beards, but does like stubble, so I also had a new Braun cruZer in the shopping bag so I can keep a uniform stubble look. Grace says it makes me look like a bad boy. Now that all of you who have know me forever are done rolling on the floor laughing at the idea of ME being a bad boy, I'll get to the point of the story, which was that I was afraid he would make me open that and have to inspect all of the small combs and parts that come with it. Mercifully, he didn't, but the whole slow cooker inspection took a terribly long time.  Usually, security guards don't check me carefully because they think Americans are not a threat. Maybe it was my "bad boy" stubble that made him visually profile me. There are security inspections at the entrance to every mall and public transportation terminal.  Not that long ago, a package in the luggage locker of a long distance bus exploded and killed several people, so there is an actual need for security checks here. There is a different line for men and women for inspection, and Grace didn't see what was happening, so she was already out of sight when Mr. Efficient got done with me. I felt like the three year old who got too brave and now can't see mom. In our business, people frequently hang up when I answer the phone, I guess they are afraid they will get a terminal nose bleed if they hear more than two words of English. (That's what native Tagalog speakers say about talking to me...I give them a nose bleed.  It means that the mental work of thinking and speaking in English is too much work.) Grace usually answers my phone, and had it in her bag, so I didn't have a way to get in touch with her. I didn't know whether to just stand there and wait or to go down to the platform and hope I could find her. Fortunately, she came looking for me before I had to sit down and start crying. I THINK I could have made it home by myself, but it probably would have involved finding a taxi, and have been more expensive. I need to remember to keep a phone on me when we are out!